The types of dates seen in movies – the formal ask, the fancy dinner and the entire dance that ensues simply doesn’t exist in the European mindset, in fact, the word “dating” isn’t even a part of their lexicon. Unlike American culture, where there’s almost a rite of passage which takes two people from “hooking up” to “seeing each other” to “dating” to “exclusive”, these labels just aren’t a focus or concern for European men. Rather, the mentality is, “I like you, I want to see you, and if it’s enjoyable, let’s keep seeing each other”.Sure, they will go out for dinner and do fun activities, but it’s not packaged up in a formal and contrived manner. It’s more organic and instead of defining the relationship in order to know how to act, they let the relationship unfold and the label of boyfriend/girlfriend just naturally develops in the process. European men are comfortable with women, which leads to respect for women.For example, in the Netherlands, comprehensive sexuality education starts at age four. Instead of cruelly dismissing someone by disappearing, they communicate that they are not interested. As the media in Europe is a lot more heavily monitored, Europeans grow up surrounded by media and images of women who are curvy, comfortable in their own skin, and sensual (versus overly sexualized).In America, sexual education is not taught until one hits their teens, if they are taught at all. It’s no surprise that American men are left to their own devices, subconsciously learning about sex through porn and the media. The latest law passed in France where excessively skinny models need to prove their health is a testament to that.For Italian girls, it not only is the ‘cherry on top of the cake’ (as we say in Italy), it is an art you are going to have to master if you want to date an Italian girl.I never thought that the cultural background of a dating prospect would make much of a difference when it came to relationships.The consequence of this is a lack of understanding of women, a lack of comfort and often, a lack of respect. There is a courtesy, consideration, chivalry and thoughtfulness in how they act, behave and engage with others.
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I’m not to judge that one is better than the other, and mind you, my observations are based on my own experiences as well as a group of women I’ve interviewed in the last two years. An American girl isn’t so much into ‘the chase’ — she generally doesn’t run away for too long, or too far away.An American girl can take time away from her friend to talk to you on a night out.Therefore, either have a friend so you all pair up, or you need an odd number: 1, she is by herself; or 3, so she can spend some time with you because she leaves two friends together.
American girls are much less used to guys being gentlemen — opening the door for the lady, waiting for her to sit before you sit, etc.
The below is a list of some of the themes and commonalities observed.