Please rotate your phone ninety degrees and try again. When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my father did, not screaming in terror like his passengers. Never judge a man till you have walked a mile in his shoes, 'cuz by then, he's a mile away, you've got his shoes, and you can say whatever the hell you want to. But chiefly on the Just because the Unjust steals the Just's umbrella. You know, that's a pretty daring move for a weatherman. We are sorry, you have reached an imaginary number. The rain, it raineth on the Just and the Unjust fella. All suspects are innocent until proven Discordian in a Court of Chaos. Like many of the finer things in life, sex often comes with a side of fries. Bodies jerk like puppet corpses, and hell walks laughing -- I am always right. Okay, everybody in this room who's telekinetic, raise my hand. The two most common things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. We should build an Intel processor out of penguins. This is the most amazing loaf of bread I've ever owned. If I were you I'd dance naked in the middle of the street just to embarrass you. You know it's a bad morning when you get up out of bed and miss the floor. These are the pale deaths which men miscall their lives; for all the scents of green things growing, each breath is but an exhalation of the grave. Time is a spiral, space is a curve, I know you get dizzy but try not to lose your nerve Secret to long life and prosperity: Don't spin too fast. We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be. " "Too many." We are all Children of Cthulhu -- especially the ones with lots of tentacles. " Proletarian revolutions are notably ineffective when the ruling class is composed of gods. Take thee this thing covered with that stuff and give it unto that guy, that he may do things with it. Hold on to freedom as long as you can, 'cause the girl in your cell might think she's a man The charms of a woman are directly related to the speed of her passing. Life is sometimes like a pizza round: hot, greasy, and delivered by a guy named 'Tony'. Time is a great teacher, but it kills all its pupils.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. It is by the Coca-Cola that the thoughts acquire speed, the lips acquire stains, the stains become a warning. Jake liked his women how he liked his kiwi fruit; firm yet yielding, sweet yet tart, and covered with short fuzzy brown hair. It's always easier to just fall than to try to climb. Vee off ze KGB are not ez slow ez you tink, comrade. There's nothing wrong with you a shotgun blast to the face couldn't fix. I didn't claw my way to the top of the food chain to eat vegetables! It has a light side and a dark side, and it binds the universe together. When you have had all that you can take, put the rest back. Trust I seek and I find in you, everyday to eat something new.
If it weren't for lawyers, I think we could have invented a universal symbolic representation of reality.
I dance around and sing a song and know that I can do no wrong. Never sign a contract including any of the phrases "sort of", kind of", or "and stuff". A live body and a dead body contain the same number of particles. The quickest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage. A little madness now and then is relished by the wisest men. No, just the nipple-cones, officer, just the nipple-cones. Okay, you guys having sex here, let's see some skill rolls! The Californians are an idle thriftless people, and can make nothing for themselves. It's not for you or I, Carruthers; nor for the regiment: it's for the Empire. It would have worked, too, if it hadn't been for those meddling kids and their fucking dog! Sin that pays its way can travel freely, and without a passport; whereas virtue, if a pauper, is stopped at all frontiers.